Banjo's Murder
January 9th, 2012
I suppose that before I start to tell you all my story, I should tell you that it is very hard for me to tell, it hurts me to even think about it, so forgive me if I start to get emotional.
I had just become a werewolf in Skyrim and was screwing around in Whiterun, the usual just running around on useless save files, killing people. I had recently bought Banjo Tooie off of Ebay for a few bucks. I couldn't wait for it to arrive. Well, today, it came.
I heard a thud coming from outside in front of my door, so I quickly turned off my Xbox 360 and ran upstairs. When I opened my front door, there was a package, I quickly ran inside and opened it, finding the cartridge for Banjo Tooie, with a note taped to it. I took off the note and a flash drive had fallen out of it.
All the note had on it was the word "Sorry.exe". I thought little of it and threw the note away and plugged in my Nintendo 64, and put in my favorite game, Banjo Tooie. It had been a very long time since I had played Banjo Tooie and I couldn't wait to play the game. There was already a file created, assuming it was a file of the previous owner, I left it alone and created a file on the second picture.
I had played the game for a few days and noticed a few bugs. Every once in a while, the screen would randomly flicker red and white very quickly and then return to normal. I figured it was just because the game cartridge was old and continued to play. After I had started the Glitter Gulch Mine world, I began to notice that there were fewer enemies than I had remembered, I put this off as me just not remembering correctly and continued to play. After beating Glitter Gulch Mine, I moved onto the world named Witchyworld. After roaming around Witchyworld (my favorite world) for a while, I got bored and began climbing the ladder that led up to the dive area. It’s the area where you jump from the top and into a pool at the bottom, any Banjo Tooie fan knows what I’m talking about, anyways, as I got to the top, I paused the game to go and get a Pepsi from upstairs. When I came back, the game was unpaused, and Banjo was just standing there, not moving, almost as if he was looking straight at me through the television screen.
At first, I thought that when I got up, I might have kicked the controller, causing it to unpause and turn Banjo around. So I picked up the controller and tried moving Banjo with the control stick, only for him to not move. I began rapidly tapping buttons to see if it was just my controller, nothing worked, Banjo didn’t jump nor did the camera zoom in or out. I thought that something was loose in the outlet where you plug the controller into the Nintendo 64, so I leaned over, put my right hand on the system, and my left hand on the cord, and was about to pull it out, when I heard the sound the Banjo makes when he talks. So I looked up to see the most disturbing dialogue ever. Right on the screen were the words
“Don’t pull that cord.”
I stood up, and ran on to my bed, and began to stare at the screen.
“What the hell?” I began to ask myself what was happening. Banjo suddenly began to move in ways I had never seen before.
It was almost life-like. He took his backpack off on his own and began rummaging through it. He eventually pulled out a picture of me!
Yes, it was me, myself! I put my hand up to my mouth in complete and utter shock, not knowing what would happen next, and was about to scream when more dialogue showed up by itself on the screen.
“This is what is going to happen to you if you dare pull out that cord.”
The camera then zoomed into the picture of my face and it started to become grotesque and mangled up. Blood started oozing from my eyes and mouth, and my jaw seemed to start becoming more and more dislocated. My flesh started peeling and falling off, revealing the muscles in my face.
Then, as the picture became more and more grisly, a screech emitted from the speakers. But it wasn’t a cartoonish, video game scream. This was the most realistic and disturbing scream I have ever heard in my life.
The camera suddenly zoomed out of the camera so reveal Banjo choking Kazooie, literally choking with one fist clamped around the bird’s neck. Banjo had a look of pure hatred in his eyes as he shook the bird back and forth, the screeching became more and more violent and painful to listen to until it became gagging, and slowly faded until it was silent, only the music of Witchyworld could be heard playing in the background. Banjo just grinned and through the lifeless bird of the edge, and snickered to himself.
At this point in time, I was already scared to death as it was, but seeing Banjo the bear violently strangle Kazooie to death, well that just made it 10 times worse. I sat there staring at Banjo laughing to himself with his evil smirk for a few more moments before his voice began to echo around my room. I could hear his gobbling sound he makes when he talks grow in volume.
I looked at the screen to see the words, “I will kill you, you are nothing, and you know nothing.”
I screamed and quickly jumped off of my bed and to the Nintendo 64, pulling the power switch, turning the system off. I couldn’t take any more of what was happening. I still haven’t turned on the console since the incident took place.
I’m afraid too, what will happen to me If I do? Well, I suppose that tomorrow is the day that I find out, that’s right, I’m going to conquer my fears and turn the game back on tomorrow, I will be recording what happens that night on this blog again, so you will know every single thing that happens.
January 10th
So I turned the game back on today, and I regret doing it. As soon as I turned the power on, the screen flashed red and black quickly. It did this for a few minutes until I could make out Banjo swinging on a swing.
I could hear a faint squeaking as Banjo moved back and forth on the swing. I could hear the music that plays in Witchyworld in the background, except it was distorted, making it painful to listen to. Banjo continued swinging but I noticed he began to slowly turn his head towards the screen.
After a minute or two of this, he stopped swinging, and just stared at me, with his cold eyes. I was about to hit the pause button when he got off the swing and started walking towards me. I rapidly began to push the pause button but it wouldn’t pause.
Banjo continued to walk towards me, slowly he made his way over. I literally started screaming as he got closer and closer to the screen. I could hear the laughter of Gruntilda the Witch in the background, slightly distorted, but growing in volume.
Banjo finally got so close to the camera that only his head could be seen. Then, everything stopped, the music, the laughter, everything. For a few moments, I could catch my breath, but then, all of the sudden, Banjo’s head was thrusted towards the right, popping bones out of his neck, and then the other way, the same thing happened.
I instantly vomited all over myself, my bed, and the floor. Blood was all over Banjo, then his head was thrusted forward and backward, bones popped out everywhere. Banjo’s eyes turned pitch black as he stood there.
He began to slowly float upward into the sky. He eventually stopped and I knew what was going to happen, he was going to be brutally beaten again. And I was right, at first, only his left leg was slowly lifted into the air, but then violently twisted, bones popped out of the back of his knee and his leg.
The same thing happened to the right leg, but Banjo had begun to scream this time. His arms were lifted into the air and pulled out of their sockets, flying in separate directions, blood went everywhere. The screen flashed red and then showed Banjo sitting in some sort of torture contraption.
A lever was pulled as the machine began to pull Banjo apart, the screaming became more intense. His body was ripped apart and his intestines spilled out onto the floor. The screen flashed red again and Banjo was sitting in Spiral Mountain, in front of his house, doing his usual idle animations, such as moving his head back and forth, etc.
January 11th
Yesterday, when Banjo was back in front of his house in Spiral Mountain, I saved the game and turned the system off, not wanting to see anymore gruesome things happen. Plus, I had to clean up the vomit that was all over me, the bed, and the floor.
I put the flash drive into my computer today, all that was on it was a text document named "Sorry.exe". I instantly recognized the name, thinking back to the note that came with the game. I opened the file and the following text appeared on my screen.
"a^ygriv84d**rzxdcvebbasde/asde. killthemkillthemkillthemkillthemkillthemkillthemkillthemkillthemkillthemkillthemkillthem hytsou ijcfdarionit jifougtds. Pppaceradket receiew4edtrved. agouhrerng iojgtho6asdfijey're ghjutichreutomfgdsriasdfhng. close-A102^vxhwy.exe run".
I quickly threw out both the game cartridge and the flash drive. I hope nothing like this ever happens to me again.
{{video|Haunted Gaming - Banjo's Murder (CREEPYPASTA)}}